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Three months have passed and my husband is still sober. It feels like a miracle, and I am incredibly proud of all that he has achieved. Things, however, have been far from plain sailing. On reflection, the last few weeks have been the toughest in our relationship. You are doing what you want to do.
I was attracted to his sensibilities and the ease with which he could be just as comfortable in his business suit as his biking gear. In early recovery, his affect was very abrupt, and his affection felt stiff. I began to doubt which Bill was authentic. Did the alcohol fuel his charm and affection? Was a sober Bill, a man with a very different personality?
We used all kinds of coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms to cope with our difficult feelings and to try to protect ourselves. We might have been dishonest, controlling or manipulative, often in an attempt to shield ourselves from more hurt. Once we’re sober, we’re able to start thinking more clearly. We’re able to more honest with ourselves.
This puts an immense strain on any romantic or other personal relationship. We understand how many times you’ve tried to get your loved one help. The difference with us is that we have the time, expertise and concern to help your loved one recover. When we were together, the night almost always began the same way — with a bottle of wine at dinner, or cracking open a few beers on the couch. Our intention was to loosen up a bit, have some fun and get to bed by a reasonable time.
Instead, it’s best to treat the marriage as a new relationship. Get to know the “new” version of your spouse (or help your spouse become acquainted with the “new” you). Patiently work on rebuilding communication, trust, support, respect, and intimacy. And here’s the thing about this is that’s how you create positivity to relationship. So, we talk about the four horsemen stonewalling, by the way is feeling so overwhelmed, you can’t respond.
The partner in recovery may experience irritability and even have angry outbursts. It’s well-known that substance use disorder (SUD) can negatively affect relationships. But what many people don’t realize is that even after sobriety, addiction can continue to have a negative impact. When relationships are glued together because of alcohol and drinking, and one person decides to change, it’s very hard, in the beginning, to be on the same page.
In each episode Casey will share the tried and true secrets of how to drink less and live more. Most marriages have some common patterns and habits that can make or break the relationship.
These unresolved feelings often lead to more serious personal issues such as depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. Spending time regularly talking with others who also struggle to “white knuckle” their way into and through recovery might Top 5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing Sober House help her to understand her anxious responses, and to feel less alone. Recovery is also something that may bring about many changes and emotions in your life. The person you may have been used to living with and being around may suddenly change.